where's itty bitty Drew when you need her

Containing fire at the moment.
Do not torch the city on account of missteps, little bunny, sometimes it is just a matter of two left feet.

Quiet and mean; those are my people. - Nurse Jackie

I am incapable of emotion and the biggest waterworks factory in the world. Extremes, imagine that. The cold hearted snake girl is such an obvious front, I don't know why it wouldn't be recognized easily as a simple childish defense mechanism (absolutely stuck in third grade where kicking people is the solution to all questions); give that girl her teddy bear yous guys and back off. Yet, over and over again, I am misread, through words written, through conversation, through body language. Personally, I feel like an open book, so raw I have to retreat at points just so no one touches the bright red exposed meat (way too gross a visual in hindsight, sorry about that). Maybe, I am Mandarin and the words, actions, movements = total nonsense to most; not to mention the cultural differences when I insist we must all talk kindly to spiders smaller than quarters (Brazil is a scary place).
My inflated ego can only pontificate these things (FYI: if there is ever a word I hate, it is that one: Pontificate. Fucking hate it.).

People that get me:
Do not ask important mind bending questions before 10am. They don't even bother with the casual good morning. You wouldn't be getting me, you would only be getting my representative, who makes mild mistakes (my rep is roughly 98% perfect), may deceive you for no other reason than to get away from conversation (priority number one), and also, instinctually bites and hisses.
Understand there are days I do not answer the phone and will from time to time, even hide it physically.
Know I disappear and reappear for reasons not even I understand.
You are my Mandarin people and I love you.

People that do not get me:
Talk to me before coffee make-out time.
Bitch when I do not return phone calls/emails/text messages.
Are offended by my inability to show up.
You are my Icelandic people and although you are adorable and have wicked cool style, every time I order a cheeseburger in your country, I get eggplant polenta.

Aside from all that mess and inner psychological workings possibly present in the above puke-fest, I openly admit to disliking pretty much everyone, not for misunderstanding me, just because. That, is not a defense mechanism, that is a COPING mechanism. Logic is out. Frowned upon. Scolded. Idiots. I (we) are surrounded by fucking idiots and its hard, HARD, for me to deal with that fact some days, full on knowing, I might be one of those people I would hate, if there was a clone of me walking about the earth. Yea. I would hate me a lot, scheming for ways to throw me under a bus or subway car, literally, all day long. All one would need to do is wait and *push*. "Oops, my bad."
Just sayin'.

Actually, never mind. I take it all back, I don't know why I am writing any of it, furthermore, I have no fucking clue why you are reading it (car accident).
Just trying to sell some Tiger Brand Coffee here, even Tigers prefer it to real meat; on sale until November, $5.99 lb.

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