i am a ninja

I always wanted to be in a gang.
I always wanted to be in a cult.
I have always considered myself the founding member of Menudo.

Pretty much want/will/would be involved with anything meeting the following requirements:

1. Not just me, must be a group (more than one additional person). Group of... ducks (or any other animal except dogs, see Rule 7) technically qualifies as long as said animal leader was able to communicate in English to me (if I was to learn Duck fluently then obviously, I would BE the leader, but uh... probably unlikely given my 12% Emotional Duck Intelligence: EDI). I can't follow if I don't understand my masters call. Quack. Roar.
2. Sub-group within the main group. This could be a Fancy Party Hat Group or Secret Assemblage of People Ready to Overthrow the Current Leader in Power with Machetes Group. Not picky, not at all.
3. Cool group name. Cool group name becomes twice as awesome (upping my loyalty to said group) IF:
a. Contains animal name (Church of the Narwhal)
b. Contains violent verb (Bay City Disembodiers)
4. Has theme song or anthem worth chanting loudly in the street at 2am.
5. Math or Science (even pseudoscience) is involved.
6. Must serve pie. Must love punch.
7. No Dogs Allowed.
a. Except Corgi's.
b. The smaller, the better.
8. Cool group tattoo, piercing or other body maiming event. Therefore I could never be a Crip or Blood but could, be a part of a herd of cows (given the Bull spoke English, see Rule 1).
9. Suggestion. I am highly open to it.

EDI: Emotional Duck Intelligence describes the ability, capacity, skill or, in the case of the trait EDI model, a self-perceived ability, to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self as a duck member, of other ducks, and especially of groups of ducks.
Personal Analysis: EDI of 12%.
Discussion: I can totally identify ducks by sight and sometimes by sound, if they are quacking. If silent, or mute ducks, I full on admit identification would be around 8% based on feet movement alone. If I was to read up, I am sure I could gain insight into the behavior of ducks, right around 40% (I am rounding up obviously, the number is closer to 37%). Solitary ducks confuse me. I know nothing about them or why they would not choose to attack humans. Size? Maybe. Personally, I think it is a character flaw on their part. This may make them natural pacifists. They would have not voted for either Bush or Obama. And I am pretty sure, they hate fucking Cheney.

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