Men: Come to terms with the wood, bang it out if needed.
Women: I have nothing at all to say to you. Sorry, check back tomorrow.
Children: Go outside and play, you bastards.
Animals: Sorry we fucked it all up. So. Fucking. Sorry.
Plants: I wish you could all be as cool as the asparagus.
Government: You should be ashamed of yourselves, get your nooses.
Religion: Keep to yourself, not everyone wants to be slimed.
Science: Way to go. Keep being fucking awesome.
Troglodytes: Please, use a condom.
Industry: Seize upon all the tiger has to offer you. Exponential growth potential.
Internet: You contain aardvarks and the Z Machine. Badass squared.
Creativity: You help me to imagine new ways in which to use my uterus.
Oral Sex: There is not a goddamn thing you can't solve.
Books: You open doors, for those that open yours.