Disturbing is having an argument with your teenage daughter about why she cannot grow up to join the circus, sell oranges on the side of the road, or invent a product that increases the laziness factor of individuals while simultaneously realizing two things:
1. You are not 100% positive they are joking.
2. You did this. YOU. DID. THIS.
Slightly more disturbing is being asked by your teenage daughter's friend to give them a henna tattoo tramp stamp. Equally wrong, being requested to give a henna tattoo on one of their (underage) asses.
Uh. Uh. No, and I am just not explaining why children, try again, figure it out and pick a design already NO YOU CAN'T HAVE A DICK TATTOOED ON YOUR ARM EITHER.
Oh my god, there are not enough sedatives.
Violently mentally disturbing is hearing your teenage daughters joke with their teenage female friends, in front of you, of their teenage love interests male friends inabilities to satisfy any girl properly and if the males have compared dick sizes between themselves to see who is the king.
Listen up children.
I don't scream out 'FUCK ME HARDER, DADDY' handcuffed to the bed, while being whipped with leather floggers when you are home. Do me the courtesy of having your dick discussing party when I am not in the room anymore - IT'S MORE THAN CREEPY FOR ME ON MULTIPLE FUCKING LEVELS.
wine wine wine
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