I am pretty sure this fingernail is making me physically ill.

New position is kicking my ass like Billy Blanks.
I predict significant weight loss after next month or total degrading slur the instructions for spaghetti dinner alcoholism.
My mania is doing rails off the bathroom tub ledge of my brain WHAT.
Oh noes, somebody gots to get the mop.

This weekend, in a fit of who the fuck is occupying my body, I gave myself a french manicure. Which is cool and all except for on my right hand, one of the fingertips, somehow got tiny little bubbles in it. I have pretty much gone insane looking at it since then. Every few minutes, I check hoping it was just bad lighting. Nope, bubbles. Repaint did come to mind except for it's totally unnoticeable to anyone else, so I am fighting the urge because I know the only real reason I would be repainting is to satisfy some stupid neurotic tick, which, well, I can't do, fuck that, ticks don't win here. I can't scratch it off, then I would look haggish and might ruin other nails picking at it, just like I do not want to immediately remove all the paint from all of my nails because damn it, FRENCH MANICURE. Time and effort, time and effort.
So, I go about my daily routine, waiting patiently for one of my other fingertips to become damaged or the polish to wear down, just so that I can remove the paint for some other purpose than tiny little bubbles.
Function. Such a funny little word.

I am so over life right now. Not like living, just the game Life, you know, ride around a game board in a plastic car, have babies, maybe you get to be a lawyer, its all decided by the miniature Wheel of Fortune spinner, WOOHOO it's PAYDAY! "Milton Bradley - so hot right now," Mugatu said to his assistant. Huh?
Scrabble Dave came over last night without incident, I can report. No arrests were made, no lives had to be saved, no one puked, passed out, got sick, cried, or was injured in any way.
I was so excited, I passed GO, collected $200.00 AND fucked that little man in the top hat while on the wrong side of the tracks.
You sunk my Battleship!

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