Coworker: What do you need me to do?
Worker: feel my pain.
Worker: that's all i need you to do right now.
Worker: hear my tiny tears hit the floor.
Worker: believe that angels are committing suicide in honor of the extreme fuck-up-ed-ness of this entire job, sacrificing their good karma to come raining down upon me like little sparkles.
Worker: i want to believe we can work through this.
Worker: will you hold my hand?
Worker: you are a true friend.
Worker: now, BRING ME SOME FUCKING HEADS!