I need the super power of giving out Herpes.

Cranky like there is a knife sticking out of my back in a place I can't reach to pull it out.

I watched the President's address, and the follow up puke-fest that was the Speaker of the House's jacked up reply. This is why I do not watch the news. I read it. Occasionally at that, because if necessary I can shut my browser, or burn the fucking newspaper, stomping the ashes screaming FUCK YOU. I cannot punch out a TV, this would electrocute me and as much as I would like to test out the theory that you have an orgasm when electricity zings through your body, I have a vibrator that can produce the same results. No need for destructive violence. My workhorse even plugs in the wall, I am that fucking hardcore.

If you are reading this and are a member of the tea party, then drop me forever as a friend now, because I will never get you, ever, we cannot socialize any more, we cannot be friends, that is all. Government works because those elected compromise, the system is chaotic, on the verge of collapse at any moment, any class in government illustrates this quite painfully, scaring me more than swimming with sharks in a chum bathing suit. Order within chaos, should be our nation's slogan, fuck that One Nation Under God shit. You give here, you take there. This bullshit stance that the House (and let's be honest, its the "newest" members, don't beat around the bush, let's name names, let's call people out publicly and shame them) is taking of "We aren't gonna take it" equals fucking insane, not to mention out of date, not even Dee Snider looks this clobbered up anymore. Default? First time ever? Are you fucking kidding me you assholes? And don't you dare say the president is holding his own ground and not budging in the same way, SOLVE THE FUCKING PROBLEM YOU HALF WITS, YOU WERE ELECTED TO DO A FUCKING JOB THAT WE PAY YOU FOR. CLUE: YOU AREN'T DOING IT FOR THE GOOD OF THE PEOPLE. Nothing about Boehner's speech made me feel like he was considering what was best for me. It was selfish, it spoke direct to a very limited audience that would benefit from no new tax cuts, lining pockets with more gold. Above $250,000, if you make above $250,000 in your household, for fucks sake, the tax hike won't mean you pay the government $10,000 more in taxes, why oh why can't politicians just be honest? They spit thinly veiled lies out like snakes in kitten clothing. On no, you commoners toiling in the fields, if we pass this legislation, every poor person in American will have their furniture, their cars and their dogs taken away immediately, don't let it happen!
I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.
I got ON MEDS to feel normal and THIS is the shit I get?

"Before I served in Congress, I ran a small business in Ohio." 20 years ago. Good job, so what. One rule of business that I DO know, you have to spend money to make money, and if you think simply cutting back on a budget is going to suddenly save everything, you are both misguided and probably watching more FOX news than should be medically allowed. That station needs a serious case of herpes and the universe as my witness, I hope everyone broadcasting or involving themselves with this Satanic entity (using your own religion, oh no we aren't religious, against you, why not try and cast the demons out of your own producers with your pitchforks and calls for burnings at the stake), go straight to hell, boy, go straight to hell. And get herpes.
How is it allowed to be called FOX NEWS?
I want to grind bricks in between my teeth.

You know what Cut, Cap and Balance sounds like? Another easy slogan some marketing fuck made up, so that those not paying attention have something small to seize on and remember, as most minds can only handle a list of three of anything easily. It's actually a pretty calculated move, for that I applaud the psychology behind the slick manipulation (nothing like routing for the bad guys in the movies, except this is real life and that dual citizenship in Italy is looking more awesome everyday I tell you). People will walk away from the two speeches numb and only remembering Cut, Cap and Balance, because its old world, advertising like, create a memorable theme and stick with it. Drink Your Ovaltine, shucks, "Wow that sounds awesome hunny, don't you think that Cut, Cap and Balance thing sure is swell, he sounds so smart and speaks to us in simple terms we can understand, want a cocktail now, go ahead, turn on the game, the potpie is almost ready". The fatcats get fatter, and business executives buy new summer homes. The knives are in our backs. We are all working too hard to survive. The Middle class is hanging on by a thread to a cliff and instead of saving themselves, they are going to hand sharp scissors to elected representatives only concerned with 1. Reelection and 2. Not losing their goddamn tax cuts. Hope you have a parachute handy.
If you make $120,000 and your friend makes $17 million, the amount you pay to the government SHOULD NOT BE THE SAME. Real life example, of people known, not a fucking joke, except for it is, it's a big fucking joke and people are not fucking getting it and I don't fucking understand.

I cannot tolerate the idea of a multitude of morons electing unintelligent, gun toting, fetus rallying, "simple" "like you and me" men and women (who are only being considered because they have nice asses, tits, and cheerleader rants about bearcubs), who know not a goddamn thing about history, who use "I was elected as head of my High School Pep Club/Football Team" as if it were a legitimate example of governing experience. Business men in office is a bad fucking idea. Those at the top aren't concerned about the mailroom employee, they are only concerned about the Board of Directors. You should know better. YOU ALREADY FUCKING KNOW THIS, YOU BITCH ABOUT YOUR BOSSES ON FACEBOOK, WHY DO YOU FORGET SO EASILY, FUCKING HELL. And business men who run companies, who fuck Medicare up the ass, that company admitting to over ten felonies - are you fucking kidding me? We elected Lord Voldemort/Rick Scott as our Governor and he is raping Florida as we speak, no apologies, no reach around, violating every safe guard, dodging bullets, as there were none, omgstfupleasegetherpes.com. You know what. He killed Harry Potter. Can you rally behind that? I hate you Florida, and that has nothing to even do with last night.

This is why I can't watch the news.
This is why I drink.
Fuck off Tuesday, you make me want to hurl razors.

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