just a theory.

Nothing to see here.
Move along, now. Move along.

Since it is so easy for others to cast away the judgment and analysis of individuals who have studied in their field for more than a few decades, I figure, why not be on the Hayride of Delusion too. The next time that I go to the doctor, I am going to be sure to let him know I think cancer is only a theory (no, I do not personally have cancer but I am beginning to not believe in it, because I am just kinda unsure about the whole thing really, I don't know "cancer" is such a big word, I am going to ask my pastor what he thinks first). I am going to say that on my way to his office I heard a radio host tell me that tumors were deposits of bad fat. The good fat was distributed properly but the bad fat lumped together and turned against you and only by eating mass amounts of high fructose corn syrup laden foods could you rid yourself of what was wrong. If he looks at me oddly, I will assure him I have read up on the subject online and there are at least a few doctors (2%) in his field who believe the same. I will thumb my nose in his face when he talks of chemotherapy and surgery because I am positive I know someone more qualified who can look at MRI's any way; my brothers cousin took a class in Anatomy back in college (he was an Interior Design major) and fuck if he doesn't always figure out who done it on that CSI Miami show, that bastard is one smart son ova bitch.

I can't stand the sheep, honestly you freak me the fuck out sheep.
You would rather take advice from someone you feel all warm and fuzzy about than a professional who has more knowledge concerning your subject than Wikipedia. You need to connect with your politicians like they were your family, when you know damn well you wouldn't elect your cousin or Uncle to any political office because the idiots still can't figure out how to program the DVR. You bury your head in the sand when you hear "global warming" and "overpopulation", consuming red meat like eating 15 oz at every meal is healthy and glamorizing TV families who have 6 or more babies at once because who doesn't love a fucking baby (What is Easter Island, Alex). You accept the gossip filled news they shout at you, sign up for their misinformation without verification, mainline lies as if you were not born with a basic set of reasoning skills and then have the balls to spread it all around like an alert that AOL is merging with AT&T and eventually taking all our first born children to work in coal factories.
Herpes. Its like you all have herpes and keep fucking without condoms.
If they said rainbow pants were cool, you'd sure as shit buy them.

Open your mouth, take the pill, shut the fuck up and endlessly channel surf. Because we all know by the time you scroll through the programming list, its been 30 minutes and all new shows are now on. Numb your brains on the force-fed delusion that you alone are significant and not responsible for anything outside of your 2500 sq ft cookie cutter, Scandinavian molded, regurgitated nightmare, at 4.5% APR 30 year fixed.
Your Coach clutch is going to look pretty kickin' on that emaciated arm after the aquifer has dried up and you realize we should have used the water to produce more food instead of keep your lawn green. Wish I could see your color coordinating lipstick but the respirator is kinda in the way.

I can't believe you are allowed to vote.
Even worse, some of you get elected to office.
That, is scary.

Cancer. Just a theory.
Please pass the FD&C Red Dye #40.

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