9.21.2010

2 and 1 (gasp)

Pink is not the new brown. Pink is pink; brown is brown. If I hear anyone say any color is the new brown, well… that person is in danger of getting slapped. If I happen to have a fish in my hands, that person is getting slapped with a fish. This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard and, in my experience, is really only uttered by those people who spend more than 500 dollars on a purse anyways. If I ever make enough money to be able to afford a 500 dollar purse, I hope that there is someone around me, willing to slap the shit out of me before making that kind of frivolous purchase.
ME: “Hey, look at this purse, it’s so hot!”
SANE PERSON: “Cute. How much is it?”
ME: “The tag says $550.00; I totally think I am going to buy it.”
* SLAP *
ME: “Better yet, wanna go get a Coke Slurpee from 7-11 and risk getting mugged?”

Confession:
I paid $300.00 for a $400.00 purse two years ago.
No one was there to render proper logic and even though I really like that purse, I could have spent the money on an extended weekend of masturbation in Savannah, rather than Orlando.

SHOCKER.

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