sedative, please.

All right. I have a deal. If you get to tell me what I get to do with my uterus, then I get to tell you what to do with yours.
Sound good?
Awesome, because if you get to take away my right to have an abortion (which you won't but I will humor you for the few seconds it will take me to puke this thought out), I want to institute some Birthing Laws that prevent just any one from bringing children into this world without a clue of how or the finances in which to raise them. Without prior psychological examination, parenting classes and a full background/criminal/financial check, NO ONE should ever be allowed to simply "have" a kid yet we don't discuss this when we are talking about the Right to Life; which should be renamed the Right to a Good Life because let's face it, there are children in this country starving, without medical care and with families who are neglectful and full of hate, passing far more than genes to the next generation.
And we aren't going to fill up the newly created Department of Uterine Embellishment with just any old midwestern idealist. This is not a covert ops/under the table federally funded Church of the Jesus and Mary acting as Public Servant X We Swear We Won't Talk About God but We Will Pick and Choose Who We Shall Help and Redefine Rules for The Masses According to our Narrow Views Organization, ooooooh noooooo. We will have Atheists, Buddhists, construction workers, lawyers, fast food clerks AND stay at home moms all represented and voting on this little golden cherub ticket. Slow infiltration of the group, whether publicly professed (thanks Texas Board of Education for redefining Douchebaggery) or not, will be met with a Queen of Hearts kind of approach; stairs lined with heads, whispers from the blackened halls carrying on the wind... the horror. The horror. The horror.

Fuck that.
How about we just agree to leave each other alone and mind our own damn business?
I do it every Sunday when I see you line your byproducts up for moral lessons given by a church who collectively has, in the last 30 years of recent history, sexually abused enough children to qualify as the International University of Pedophilia. We will leave their 1,900 prior years of well documented corruption, manipulation and above the law accountability out of it.
Oh, right. You don't prescribe to the Papacy's monthly newsletter. Let me clue you in... The Washington Post and The New York Times are both newspapers, steak and oranges are both considered food, a river and ocean both bodies of water. If you cannot therefore see the simple analogy presented before you....
Dear Applicant, We regret to inform you, that you have failed conclusively and can resubmit your application for birthing in another 6 months.
Request: DENIED.