3.03.2010

Hypocritical Circular Nonsensical Example X. For your personal amusement.

I get very weird feelings when I am around certain people. Hm. Most people I am actually uncomfortable around, let us amend that first sentence, but some other people, uncomfortable equates to undiluted nauseousness. Their presence in a room full of my best friends will cause me to close-up tighter than a Wall Street CEO's asshole no matter what I do (once again, hindsight, and I apologize for the visual - hindsight, ha, that was also pretty funny, never you mind that though). Can you guess as to what these people's commonality might be? Answer: Arrogant, belittling judgment of others but more specifically, arrogant, belittling judgment of me.
TA DA!
Told you I was a hypocrite. Sometimes it is not so much fun knowing who you are but at least the neighborhood isn't as scary even if the road is completely foreign and there is a dog hanging out on the corner. Waiting. In the dark.
Now, to be realistic, I know that the they's are probably not judging me. I mean, I KNOW THIS, really I do, especially since some of these "people" do not even know me, ha HA (!) and therein lies the nonsensical portion of our presentation. Nothing has had to happen between us, no drama, no history, no nuthin' - but do to circumstances beyond our control this station is temporarily radio silent. For the ones I do know, I am positive (300%) I do not register on their radar at all, ever, no passing thought granted towards my being (365/12/52/7/24/60) yet once I put someone IN that category, known or not known, they don't come out, no matter how hard I try or work-around coping mechanism I attempt to construct.
More than the average confessional incense bear, I realize I am only a grain of sand among many other grains of sand, none of these grains of sand any different from the other grains, really. Really. When at the beach, in someone's mouth, ALL sand is gritty and disgusting in the same damn way. I accept.

My brain matter is fighting itself with my brain matter; my brain matter in the stands ready to kick the loosing brain matter and brain matter fans asses just as soon as the brain matter trying to keep order is overcome by more brain matter, rendering this arena of foolishness, a big ol' non-functioning fucktard mess of unorganized schizophrenic brain matter. Check please, and can I get this 1/2 & 1/2 tea in a ToGo cup, thanks.
Sigh, little bunny.
pH (Panic, Hide) factor 11. You see right there, it goes to 11. ELEVEN.

I really need to call the dentist.
Next week.

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