Star Me Kitten, Kitten, and Cue the Applesauce

A gorgeous tattoo this weekend, Amen. Nothing says I love you quite like the repetitive poke of sharp needles and blood.
Except maybe a real penguin but the jury is still out on that one.

Friday night I had crawfish for the first time - weird. Very, very weird. I am used to eating shellfish: crab, lobster, shrimp, fish fish fish fish fish... so I am not sure why I am so bothered by the crawfish but I am, I seriously am. My sister swears it is the butter's fault; they gave us this yellow liquidy stuff for the crab legs (supposedly butter) which must have been the same oil they were cooking the crawfish in, or something just as vile as that. Butter. I require butter for my crab, not used oil from your kitchen of crustacean death. It offset everything and I couldn't get the taste or smell out of my mouth the entire night. Every beer I drank afterward was Crawfish Beer (hurl).
I am also unsure of how authentically NOLA the entire establishment was considering the staff, friends, and every customer in there (with the exception of our table) were asian. The sign outside said it was voted The Best and Most Authentic New Orleans Crawfish in Orlando but by whom? WHO says these things you advertise on signs; this should be backed up with data and sources revealed, WTF is wrong with a little transparency? I regularly poll my friends about random shit but this in no way makes me Orlando's Best Guacamole Chef or The Sexist Armenian in O-Town but fuck all if I shouldn't get my car wrapped with those accolades, just in case you know, they are giving out free money somewhere. I could get sponsored by Jamila Henna Powder or Tazah Grape Leaves JUST for being cute little ol' me.
(INSERT: Palin "You Betcha" wink of authentic retardation.
CUT TO: Child puking her guts out in the corner)

Guacamole To Make You Spontaneously Orgasm

1 medium tomatillo (cut into 3-4 3/4 inch slices)
1 red onion slice (3/4 inch thick)
2 avocados, diced
4 cloves of garlic (1 heaping teaspoon), minced
1/8 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
1/2 lime
olive oil

Coat tomatillo and onion slices with olive oil and grill (char) over flame until tender. Remove, cool and dice. Add garlic, cilantro, avocados and the juice of 1/2 a lime. Salt to taste.

Whoa. Just typing that out sent small earthquakes through my panties (giggle) BUT I am Martha Stewart when my clothes are on, lassies (wink), so next on Good Morning Bunnies is "Getting those gooey white packages of Satan out of your beloved silk, satin and lace". You won't want to miss this (finger point of exclamation).

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