Things I do not want to hear. Byproduct Edition.

How old do I have to be to wear a thong?
We have no snacks/there is nothing to eat.
Pretty soon, I'll be able to drive.
Can I stay in the house alone, by myself, overnight?
I gave my friend some of your condoms.
What if I want to be an interior decorator?
I need _______ (requires money).
What's for dinner?
My phone isn't working.
Can you get an STD from oral sex?
She's touching me.
We have no milk/toilet paper/bread/paper towels/tampons.
Do YOU have a vibrator?
When are we going to get there/how much longer is it going to be until we get there/how long does it take to get there/when are we leaving?
I don't feel good.
Do we have to watch this show/movie?
I don't like _______ (whatever I have cooked for dinner).
I can't find it.
She's making that face again.
I might have broken something.
Can you take me to the mall?