Happy Birthday to Bunny

Happy Birthday to Bunny,
Happy Birthday to Bunny,
You smell like a strawberry,
and you look like a truck.

Yesterday the universe gave me the gift of Ocular Migraines. Which is kinda trippy. No really. You see like you are on acid, lines waving, kaleidoscope, man in the wall trying to poke his way through to give you some candy. Ok, maybe the last part was a bit of a stretch. I had been driving in the car when it started and within 10 minutes (luckily I made it back to the office first) my entire field of vision was overtaken by bright flashing lights in geometric patterns.
FUCK YEA!
So not cool. It lasted for another 15 and then like Kaiser Soze *poof* it was gone.
I don't get the headache part, which apparently would make it a full migraine, which is also awesome because the other choices for problems one potentially could have had with these symptoms include brain tumor, retina detachment and stroke.
I'll have what's behind Door Number 2.

IF YOU TRULY GAVE A SHIT ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP YOU WOULD CONTRACT RABIES SO I COULD POKE YOU WITH A STICK THROUGH THE BARS OF THE CAGE I AM BUILDING IN YOUR HONOR.
Mouth Foaming, Motherfucker.

I am 35 today.
My mother called to wish me a Happy Birthday this morning and reminisce about being preggers with me. And apologize for haven taken acid while I was all swimmin' round in her tummies. Silly rabbit, LSD is NOT FOR FETUSES. No really, it all makes total sense to you now, doesn't it.
Also, she apologized for having tried to abort me when she was 895 weeks pregnant.
True story.

Don't I get whatever I want this month?
That's the rule, right?
Where is my genie - where is MY parade?!?!

List of what I want:
Donkey.
Chocolate covered skull.
Stuffed chupacabra.
Wax covered corpse.
Very large tractor tire.
Self-maintaining rose garden.
Vial of Rabbit Anti Mouse.
10 white bunnies with cages and also, ramps and flaming hoops and balls and stuff for circus training.
Telegram (not one of those jackass ones delivered by a purple gorilla, a REAL one; must also contain important information I need to know).
Bazooka Joe Bubblegum Lunchbox, purchased solely with Bazooka Joe Bubblegum Comic wrappers.
Willy Wonka Golden ticket.

I am so excited to have cupcakes today.
Happy Birthday to me's.