Angry Russian Walrus > Penguin

In my world, my begging is amusing. Perhaps not so much in real life so it's good I don't operate in that realm. Half the time I am not really looking to get what it is I am begging for, which is why the word "maybe" is such a good word for my mates to learn. I can live a lifetime on maybe, especially when I am begging for something... hm, like, uh, maybe... like a penguin. The last few months I have been rather obsessed thinking about my potential gift of a penguin, what I would do with it, where I could take it on walks, who I could introduce it to, the habitat I could build for it; convinced myself I totally have it down after 6 commercial interruptions of an hour long Penguins Are Way Cooler Than You Ever Imagined Discovery rescue shows. Also, because I really get into cooking, I like considering the various fish recipes I could create so the penguin could live out its days eating more than just plain old raw fish. Raw fish cupcakes sound more loving and are able to be filled chock full of Penguin Life Expectancy Expanding nutrients.
For the last few months of begging, Fiancee Esquire has done a fantastic job of deflecting my wants gracefully.
"All out of penguins at the Penguin Store, my love."
"Oops, forgot to run by SeaWorld today, I will try tomorrow."
I mean, wow, he is totally fucking good at this (might be one of the thousand reasons I am marrying him).
Then yesterday, he skillfully brought home the gift of a Stuffed Angry Russian Walrus. Got a cute lil hat. Sweet. Penguin Want is now satisfied and I can move on to something new. It really IS that easy with me.

New Stuffed Angry Russian Walrus talks in a very gruff voice (back off, having multiple personalities at least now has a use) and shouts commands and yells out ridiculousness and such. Can't contain myself sometimes, whadda ya want? Last night, two of the kids came into the bedroom and just like any good mother would, I took Vasilley (that's his name) in my hand and loudly exclaimed what needed to be done. Procurement of a Diet Pepsi with lime over ice from the oldest, and the abolishment of candy from the smallest' mouth. Because, we all know, candy gives you diabetes.
I have never seen two children giggle so much which got me thinking... on the occasions I do have to get a lil' up in small peoples bizness, perhaps using the Walrus will make it less like I am Medusa, and more like I am just pointing out in a funny way that no one cleared the dishes from the dinner table or bothered to take out the garbage. I am going to try it out because the Italian comes out in me super strong some days and I always feel guilty afterward even though I am completely justified 98% of the time. Ok. You're right, 99% of the time.

So, what do I want now?
Hmm... I'll get back to ya.

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