Bunnies! Easter is awesome, minus the whole cross and coming back from the dead zombie shit. Thanks Christians for fucking up my cottontail moment.
Well. Ok. Actually, I will admit, the zombie part IS kinda cool, way to go.

Next weekend I am gonna have a rented bunny costume in my possession.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? No. Am I volunteering at my church? No. Am I hosting a cute little Sunday egg hunt for kids? No. Am I hanging out in the mall taking pictures? No. I am going to have a rented bunny costume, so that I can run around town, in a rented bunny costume for 3 whole days, including work's Monday morning 401K meeting at 9am.

I used to think that if I ever made it to super stardom (Mania brings these delusions on, the truth is this will only happen via some freak mishap, like the runaway bride or being in a coma + legal battle involving support from the governor or some zoo rape scenario crap. I am not saving the world anytime soon; nothing good can come from my interaction with mass amounts of people. Seriously. Unless God speaks to me, which I can't see happening anyway because if he did, I would rationalize the voice as schizophrenia and delight in a bona fide reason to go balls to the wall nuts and live my new life on Thorazine, fuck your booming voice and instructions to build things. Damn it God, I'm not an engineer! God would know this if God existed and therefore would never pick me to speak to, this aside means nil, we are full circle time to return to our regularly scheduled programing.), I would accept an invitation to go on the David Letterman show but no matter what we discussed prior, once on stage I would not talk at all; just sit silent and twiddle my thumbs and look at my feet, because I have been crushing on David Letterman since I was a kid so that would be beyond nerve racking. Worst guest ever.
Nah. I would probably decline going. People looking at me, completely freaks me out.

Famous is weird. People assign your identity. They twist your words and boost you up just to crucify you later on the cross. Thats kinda how the world works, I think, some guy, just waiting to nail you to something. Dick. I hate that nail guy.
I feel kinda bad for Jesus.
I also think since we are not real sure of everything that came out of his mouth, he might have been asking for a little of what he got. You never know. He could have insulted someone's mother.
Just sayin'. Don't believe everything that you read. Those fuckers told me Triceratops was real too.
So bummed.


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