I wish I had known before today so I could have prepared. Last minute all I can really think to do in celebration is masturbate and drink Jager Bombs (BRB).
There should be a list!
There should be a Haiku!
Where's my parade?!
Watched the Movie Edmond last night starring the fantastically talented William H. Macy as a married man who leaves his wife, and wanders into the world to have a few new experiences. Aw. He does. Aw.Good movie for a Wednesday night.
You cannot fool cops on TV anymore, not that you ever could but its getting even harder these days. They always get you. Hooked and booked, crook.
Forensic Teams with more schooling than God, the ability to recall facts and figures and measurements without the use of any handheld instrument help of any kind, scrape up all the fibers, blood, analyze the splatters, psychics are consulted, bug specialists, bone specialists, monkey urine specialists. The cops are expert interrogators, the criminals halfwits.
Case Closed.
Lets get a beer.
In real life, however, people get away with murder every day. Do you know how many unsolved homicide cases and serial killers operate in Orlando alone? You'd never leave the house thats how many. Or be allowed, as is the case for my best friend who deals with the unfortunate short leash of her husband, an Undercover Investigator who busts child pornography rings operating steps from The Magic Kingdom and seeks much wiser serial murders who have evaded law enforcement for more than twenty years running.
I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know.
Our ride will begin moving shortly, keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, or someone might come by in a mask, chop it off with a machete and rape a small dog covered in peanut butter with it. Straight to VHS.
In New York recently, they have been finding bodies all over a section of Long Island (just uncovered they say but seriously, its an island, no one EVER went to this part of it, heh, well SOMEONE did...), leading investigators to believe they had a serial killer operating in the area. Further forensics has revealed a much different reality. You know how you have that one secret coffee shop or bar that you go to that only locals know about and when you walk in, its mostly the same people, who may or may not know your name. Yea. The underground Long Island murder sect apparently has a similar place where the prime area has become a virtual "Cheers" type dumping ground for dead bodies over the last few decades.
The truth is always more frightening than one can imagine.
That's Entertainment!
Top Five Places To Stay Away From 2011
1. Disney AREA
2. Long Island
3. Mexico
4. Japan (non murderous reasons)
5. Haiti (dirt pie reasons)
i root for bad guys
extermination HOLLA
you thin out the herd
OK, WHERES MY ROCKING FLOAT, BOUNCING DOWN THE STREET TO THICK BEATS, WHILE DOUBLE CHEESEBURGERS ARE BEING THROW TO THE CROWDS?!
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