this. is. your life.

8:00 pm. any given evening.

Me: Punch punch punch (Issues' tiny little punch punch punch to his side)
He: Why are you punching me?
Me: Punch punch punch (Issues' tiny little punch punch punch to his side)
He: Stop punching me!
Me: (Bites his arm, giggles, licks his arm slurp, cackles)
He: What the FUCK?!
Me: Punch punch punch (Issues' tiny little punch punch punch to his side) You love me.
He: Of course (Me: licks his arm) ... WHAT THE HELL!
Me: (Cackles loudly, slaps his exposed tattoos)
He: Why are you slapping me?
Me: Punch punch punch (Issues' tiny little punch punch punch to his side)
He: (Grabs both my wrists)
Me: (Shakes arms, then bites and licks his arms, moves legs up to push arms free)
He: (Deflects my bites and licks, moves his legs to pin mine)
Me: I can't moooooooooooooooooove. (Shakes wildly, licks his arms)
He: Oh my GOD! (Uses one hand to hold both my wrists and the other hand to hold my head still)
Me: (Cackles and growls, chomping jaws like rabid dog)
He: Something is wrong with you.
Me: OW!!!! (Cackles, try to move my head)
He: Raised by wolves.
Me: Ok. I will stop.
He: No you won't.
Me: Swears.
He: (Releases me)
Me: Punch punch punch (Issues' tiny little punch punch punch to his side and cackles)
He: Why are you punching me?
Me: (Wiggles hands all over his face, puts fingers inside his mouth and ears, cackles)
He: Oh My GOD (Me: Licks his arm) What the...
Me: (Cackles)

- silence -
- stillness -

Me: Punch punch punch (Issues' tiny little punch punch punch to his side)
Me: WANT TO WATCH A SCARY MOVIE HOORAY!!!! (Throws arms around him to issue hug and 58 kisses) (Maybe even 59)