Manic Monday

• Pool landscaping should never involve plants that molt.
• All your steak are belong to us.
• I have grown quite a fondness for olives with garlic cloves in the middle.
• When wearing my invisible tiara, the need for explanation IS FUCKING NIL.
• Underwear has purpose. Panties are for show. Pick your undergarments accordingly.
• Cat hair wardrobe is what I want for Christmas, so I can stop de-furring my clothes.
• One day, while emailing family, I am going to hit SEND only to realize I have accidently attached lesbian porn.
• Fuck you, Don Henley is awesome.
• Fish not included, your household should max out at one animal per bedroom, unless you consider dogs over 90lbs, in which case you should just stop being a dick.
• I have more green sweaters than any other color sweater.
• At my current rate of acquisition, I should have a penguin by the year 2389. Kicknuts.
• GIVE ME A BEAT!